Feeding the Right Wolf

Feeding the Right Wolf

A Native American grandpa sits with his grandson
“Why do people do bad things, grandpa?”
I like to think of this way: inside each of us there are two wolves. There’s a mean, hateful wolf and also a loving, compassionate wolf. And maybe they fight inside us.
“Well, how do we know who wins?”
The one who wins is the one we choose to feed, son.

For me, the image works well. I can sense sometimes when I’m feeding the wrong wolf and when I can switch gears, and find the more loving one to feed … “ahhh, much better.” But what I realized this morning is this: if I have two wolves inside then so does everyone else. And if mine need feeding then so does everyone else’s. If I think about it, I can find a plenty of times when I’ve fed someone else's hateful wolf. Of course, it’s not so peaceful to think that I am the cause of someone’s hateful words. But for me, it’s helpful to think that if I look carefully, I may be able to figure out how to feed their compassionate wolf and help switch our dance. It’s so satisfying when I can find that loving place and touch it. Either that or run and hide when I see them approaching .. either one.

Mitch Alboom helps me think

Reaching for Some Understanding…
maybe you read it ages ago
but I just discovered a gem of a book,
and then, another
I so loved "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Alboom
that I also had to read "Tuesdays with Morrie"
so much wisdom in those pages
author is honest and real, not gushy
not an emotional guy, but so drawn
to the 2 men in his path who loved life
and loved to give to others
and these men loved Mitch Alboom,
a good writer, phew on that!

maybe these men are annick's Ubermentch's,
maybe meeting people where they are
always open to learn
maybe it's compassion, (for me)
that helps one transcend
transcend expectation and disappointment
Morrie says:
"love each other or perish!"
he was always changing until he died

the Rabbi Albert Lewis, in
“Have a little Faith,” says
'more than the actual fear
of dying, people fear
being forgotten,'
"a second death," he calls it.
I believe that
I think I fear that too
"but death only ends a life, not a relationship"
loving your own life is not enough
loving the people around you
will keep you alive forever
I'd like to think Zlata chose a way that worked for her
or that if she was taken without word from god,
she had comfort knowing she would not die
"a second death" of disappearing from the world
a nice story maybe you know
but new for me:
a little wave is so excited to be a wave
he bounces up and down
in the big ocean
"oh what fun, to be a wave like me"
as he nears the shore
he sees that the waves crash
and disappear on the shore
"oh no, look what will happen to me!"
another wave behind him, hears his cry and says
"don't worry little wave, you're not just a wave
you're part of a very big ocean, you'll never disappear"

well, maybe
"it is what it is, and it is all good?"
it's so strange, that sentiment ...
but I find myself wanting to believe it
“Gam Zu L’tovah?”
but how?
maybe the good stuff is that our loves are never truly gone?
there's always something to learn?
maybe staying the same is dying too soon?
maybe always learning is always living?

I will never forget Zlata
it was not always smooth
but I will always learn
from the way she met people “where they were,”
and from the way, she noticed "stuff"
and then moved on
a great woman was taken from the earth
but not from our hearts

love,
Annick